(un)Fucked* and Unstuck

in one day or less

*wondering why it’s (un)fucked? Read on…


The better you are at what you do… the harder it is to market your genius.


You’re a badass at what you do, a powerhouse in your field.

You’re smart AF and you get your clients results because you’ve been in this game long enough to know WTF you’re doing.

Problem is…

You’re a miracle worker for your clients, but when it’s time to work your magic on your own business… not. so. much.

Because there’s more that you want to achieve – need to achieve – but gaining any traction, fuck, even taking the babiest of steps, feels more difficult than trying to explain to your grandma that your online business isn’t some shady pyramid scheme.

And the longer this goes on, the more you drown in ideas, strategies, and ‘should-dos’ that are pulling you down instead of propelling you forward.

At this point, you’re clinging to strategies that aren’t delivering, simply because they’re familiar, not because they’re actually effective.

To top it all off, you’re so emotionally invested and attached to your business that it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. 

You need a fresh set of eyes. An outside perspective that’s new and unique to YOU.

… and you know it.

It’s hard to find someone

who gives a fuck about YOU without just trying to push their own agenda.

Masterminds? Been there, done that.
Celeb-status coaches? Dime-a-dozen and you see right through them.

You need something different. Something that delivers.

You just want someone to get in and get out, quick & dirty (oh, get your mind outta the gutter) without the long-term commitment, who has zero emotional attachment to your perceived fears, failures and fuck ups and can give you the honest to goodness truth that you know you need to hear to be your badass self.

without spending 50 hundred hours learning a new strategy that some “expert” swears worked for them to “make millions overnight” but you know full well is bullshit.

What’s That?! You Rang?!

Heyyyyy, Bitch!

We’re so good at doing exactly that, we wish we had someone who could do it for us.
But that’s the rub, isn’t it? We do it so well for others and suck at doing it for ourselves.
Where’s that clarity dildo when you need a good (un)fucking?!




… and counting



So, until someone invents that magical dildo so we can all (un)fuck ourselves…

We’re here to help.

Get (un)Fucked in a Day

… or less

Get clarity in a day and creatively problem solve the major sticking point in your biz that’s been gnawing at you and keeping you in a rut, when you just want someone to tell you what the fuck to do already… (who won’t tell you “it’s just a mindset issue” cuz, ew)

minimum $200 investment

In just one sitting we can:

  • Find new solutions for the same ol’ problems that have been plaguing your business by thinking laterally (instead of linearly), so those old problems finally go away.
  • Quit doing the shit that just isn’t working anymore, even though people keep telling you it’s what you “should” be doing.
  • Get massive amounts of clarity without any fearful emotional attachment to the outcome, or “failure”, or “what will people think?!” (it’s like the one night stand you’ve always wanted….)
  • Make sense of the word vomit and thought glitter that’s been cramping your style, in the fastest cleanup of vomit or glitter you’ve ever seen when it’s used to create art.
  • Pinpoint the exact 1-3 steps you want to take (that you know you actually should take, but haven’t taken) and get a customized plan (and tools) to execute it from our treasure trove of assets…
  • BONUS – Feel so jazzed about your business again that you’ll put jazz hands out of style.

Truth is, the most capable entrepreneurs are the ones who most often turn around and look at their business, throw their hands in the air and go “WTAF?!” in total defeat…

When you just want to unload all your biz issues on someone else for once and have them reflect back to you exactly what to do because they give a fuck about your results, without giving a fuck about the emotional attachment you have to your “biz baby”, fear that you’ll fail or fuck it up or flop

(no, seriously, our give-a-shitness is high for your success, just not your emotional attachment issues… although we get it. We have them, too.)

Success story

“You can’t find many people like this in the online world who are willing to fight right next to you the whole time.”

Julie Hankins
COO, Lily & Thistle

Here Are Some Of The Things We Can Do Together in a Day (or less)

Word vomit the swirl of ideas and thoughts and problems that have been keeping you up at night for weeks (or months) to find the solution that just hits different.

Redefine your positioning and messaging so it attracts the level of client you actually want to be working with (and learn how to use ChatGPT to help!)

Design a new offer that is absolutely killer, irresistible, and profitable, without killing you softly on the inside…

Map out a launch/revenue strategy that actually serves your needs, energy, and desires by doing the thing you’ve been wanting to do – but not giving yourself permission to do.

Make a data-driven decision on if ads will work or not for you, once and for all (and how to do it without shitting your pants every second…).

Get honest feedback on whether or not that launch strategy that you paid that “celebrity coach” a shit tonne of money for is actually the right one for you (‘cuz you know it just doesn’t sit quite right, but you need someone without attachment – and ego – to confirm.)

Success story

You really get me!

It feels like I’m in really good hands. You really get me and what I’m trying to build. I’m trusting the process and I can’t wait to see the results.

Amity Cooper
Clinical Brand Strategist

Still not sure how to leverage us?

Here’s some of the shit we’ve helped other people work through for inspo

(real life problems not included… ‘cuz we barely have our own life shit together…jk…sorta’):


Developed a complete strategy to start leveraging 1:1 relationships at scale instead of thinking she needed to focus on “building her list”.

Saved HOURS of frustration


Ditched a 3-part workshop series for a digital product and ideated on a way to use ads direct to product instead.

Saved an ass ton in wasted TIME and ENERGY


Created a complete social media strategy that fits her busy life, set up her backed data systems, and optimized her customer journey for experience and sales. 

Saved HER SANITY with a flexible content plan.


Mapped out offers, pricing structure, and funnels that would both attract ideal clients and be profitable enough for ads in the future. 

Saved PROFIT now, and in the future!


Identified the exact strategy to leverage her incredible PR appearances in her biz to shift all her offers under a powerful personal brand.

Saved MONTHS wasted on ineffective marketing


Refined her messaging and outreach strategy to fit a higher, more invested, ideal client and better visibility opportunities

Saved HOURS of work “wasted” on the wrong messaging.


Identified the offer she should be leading with for her program and helped her use ChatGPT to refine a sales page that is badass. 

Saved LOST LEADS with the perfect offer and sales page.


Reviewed and renewed her sales page messaging and copy to be more concise and true to her voice and authority in the space. 

Saved TIME and MONEY with messaging that converted instantly!


Created a complete launch plan, including social media strategy and calendar, pricing and affiliate tactics for mission-driven membership.

Saved ENDLESS frustration by creating her launch plan.

Success story

“I felt like I had hundreds of pieces… but they weren’t put into a cohesive whole. Now I have a topographical understanding… of how all those pieces come together as a whole”

Stirling Gardner
Marketing Strategist


Here’s How it Goes Down:


Buy your time with us and prepare to get (un)fucked by filling out our intake form.



Schedule your prep call so we can get complete context and understand exactly how to help you. On the call we’ll schedule your time – it will be within 10 days of your prep call at a time that works for all of us. And we’ll walk away from this call to prep knowing exactly how to help you!


Join us for your time! We’ll customize this experience based on the duration purchased and what we discuss during your prep call. This may look like 3 X 90 min sessions with breaks, or a morning and afternoon session while we work to execute in the middle. Whatever is going to work best for you.


You’ll get 30 days of access to us and our community, Rebellion, including a private access channel in Heartbeat just to ask your questions! We’ll provide all assets and resources referenced in the call, including the recording. 


Execute in those 30 days with our support and finally feel that orgasmic joy when you start doing shit your way, and see it pay off!

Success story

Best Interests at Heart

Chrissie and Eliya know what I want. They know what my target is, what my goal is. And, I really do feel like they have my best interest at heart. I just feel a lot of trust there.

Kelli Folsom
Art Educator

Got Questions?

We’ve got answers. Hopefully.

What do I actually get from our time together?

Well, that’s 100% customized to your needs. There will absolutely be a strategic portion (for most people), but we’ll deliver exactly what we identify that you need in your pre-call, whether it’s help getting your Google Analytics squared away, a template for your sales page, a customized social media plan and strategy, help in your ads account, etc. 

Can you help me write a sales page or set up ads?

While we can’t do either of these things “from scratch” we can get you started on them by helping with things like messaging, positioning, offers, or identifying if ads are right for you, reading your ad performance and making suggestions, etc. but email us at to find out if we can support you.

Can we chat before I buy?

Of course! You can DM Chrissie or Eliya directly to chat via Messenger. Or if you’d rather meet ‘face to face’ click here to snag a spot on our calendars.

What’s “Rebellion” and why do I get access to it?

Rebellion is the most badass group community anywhere on the interwebs for entrepreneurs who are embracing this fear-not, “fuck around and find out”, mentality to innovate their way to success. It’s where you’ll find a peer support network who will champion your “wild ideas” and help you get unstuck as you execute for the nest 30 days (or longer, if you choose to stick around). 

What’s Heartbeat?

Heartbeat is where Rebellion is housed, you’ll get access to a private channel (kind of like your own private Facebook feed where you can ask questions, reply, etc.), all of our resources (like swipe files, tech walkthroughs, sales page templates), and an invitation to use the community features like voice/video rooms at any time. 

This is a question?

Be clear and concise in your answers. Focus on the positive and be honest about what you can deliver. Do not use large blocks of text as they are tiring to read. If you have a lot of information to get across, break into short paragraphs and consider using sub-headings to guide the reader.

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